One of the biggest concerns before a first hypnotherapy session is this: “What if I lose control?”
In short:
No, you do not lose control during a hypnotherapy session.
Therapeutic hypnosis is not sleep, unconsciousness, or submission. It is a state of focused attention, relaxation, and greater openness to your internal experience.
You remain present.
You continue to hear.
You can still speak.
You can still adjust your position.
You can open your eyes or stop at any moment.
Hypnotherapy does not make you do anything against your will. On the contrary, it is a collaborative process in which the therapist guides you and you participate actively, at your own pace.
The most common fear: “What if I lose control?”
This is one of the most common questions people have before their first hypnotherapy session.
Sometimes, they say it out loud.
Other times, they do not say it, but their body does.
There is a slight hesitation.
A doubt.
An “I’m curious, but…”
And that “but” often hides a very human fear:
“What if I lose control?”
“What if I say something I don’t want to say?”
“What if I become unconscious?”
“What if I can’t come out of it?”
“What if the therapist can control me?”
It makes sense that this fear exists.
For many years, hypnosis was portrayed in films, television programmes, and stage shows as a kind of strange power over another person.
Someone snaps their fingers.
The person “switches off.”
They do ridiculous things.
Then they wake up without remembering anything.
But that is not hypnotherapy.
In hypnotherapy, you are not on a stage.
You are not entertaining anyone.
You are not handing your power over to another person.
You are in a therapeutic space, with consent, safety, and collaboration.
And that changes everything.
Hypnotherapy is not a loss of control
In hypnotherapy, your control does not disappear.
In fact, what often happens is the opposite: you begin to reconnect with parts of yourself that were operating on autopilot.
Because losing control is not what happens in hypnosis.
Losing control is often what people feel before seeking support.
When anxiety takes over.
When the mind will not stop.
When the body reacts before you have time to think.
When you say “yes” while something inside you wants to say “no”.
When you repeat the same pattern, even though you know it is no longer good for you.
Hypnotherapy does not take control away from you.
It helps you understand and reorganise internal responses that were already happening automatically.
So, what happens during a hypnotherapy session?
During a hypnotherapy session, you are guided into a state of greater focus, relaxation, and inner awareness.
This may happen through breathing, the voice, imagination, attention to the body, metaphors, or therapeutic suggestions.
But you remain present.
You can hear the sounds around you.
You can notice my voice.
You can feel your body.
You can have thoughts.
You can feel emotions.
You can speak, if necessary.
You can open your eyes.
There is no magic button.
There is a process.
And that process depends greatly on your openness, your internal sense of safety, and the therapeutic relationship.
Hypnosis is not something that is “done to you.”.
It is something you actively participate in.
“But will I become unconscious?”
No.
In most cases, you remain conscious throughout the session.
You may feel deeply relaxed.
You may lose some sense of time.
Your body may feel heavier or lighter.
You may enter a more imaginative, symbolic, or inwardly focused state.
But that is not unconsciousness.
It is more like those moments when you are completely absorbed in a book, a piece of music, a landscape, or a deep conversation, and the outside world becomes less important for a while.
You are still there.
You are simply more focused inwardly.
“What if I say things I don’t want to say?”
You are not required to say anything you do not want to share.
Hypnotherapy is not an interrogation.
It is not a confession.
It is not a technique for extracting secrets.
Your pace matters.
Some people speak during the session.
Some people remain silent.
Some people share images, sensations, or emotions.
Some people only speak at the end.
All of this is valid.
Therapeutic work does not need to force disclosure in order to be profound.
Often, change begins precisely when the system realises that it will not be pressured.
“What if I can’t come out of hypnosis?”
You can.
You can open your eyes.
You can move your body.
You can speak.
You can bring your attention back to the room.
The hypnotic state is not a prison. It is a natural state of internal focus.
Even when a person is deeply relaxed, they do not become “stuck”.
At the end of the session, there is always a gradual return through breathing, awareness of the body, the room, the sounds around you, opening the eyes, and becoming fully present.
And if, for any reason, it were necessary to stop earlier, that would also be possible.
The body knows how to return.
Hypnotherapy is collaboration, not control
This point is essential.
Hypnotherapy works best when there is collaboration.
The therapist does not command.
The therapist guides.
You do not obey.
You participate.
Therapeutic suggestions are invitations. Not orders.
And your inner system can accept, adapt, or reject anything that does not feel right for you.
In my practice, this is very important. I do not work against you, against your defences, or against your pace.
I work with you.
Even the parts of you that resist, control, or distrust are not seen as a problem.
Often, they are parts that are trying to protect you.
And before any profound change can happen, those parts also need to feel that they will not be overridden or forced.
“But what if I am very controlling?”
Then hypnotherapy may be especially helpful.
Not because it will take control away from you.
But because it can help you understand why a part of you needs control so much.
Many highly functional, responsible people who hold themselves to very high standards live with enormous internal tension.
On the outside, they cope.
They organise.
They respond.
They work.
They care for others.
They make decisions.
They solve problems.
Inside, they are tired.
And when it is time to relax, the body does not know how.
Because a part of you learned:
“I have to stay alert.”
“I have to anticipate everything.”
“I have to be prepared.”
“I have to keep everything under control.”
“If I relax, something might go wrong.”
Hypnotherapy can help work with these responses in a respectful way.
Not by taking control away from you.
But by helping your system begin to recognise that it may no longer need to live in a constant state of vigilance.
All hypnosis is, in a way, self-hypnosis
This is an important idea.
The therapist can guide you, but cannot enter your inner world for you.
You are the one who responds.
You are the one who imagines.
You are the one who feels.
You are the one who allows.
You are the one who, at your own pace, begins to make space for new associations and new responses.
That is why hypnotherapy is not about someone having power over you.
It is a way of facilitating access to inner resources that are often obscured by stress, anxiety, self-imposed pressure, or old patterns.
Why are some people afraid of hypnosis?
Often, this fear comes from three places.
The first is the cultural image of hypnosis: films, stage shows, tricks, watches, and people doing strange things.
The second is the person’s own history. If someone has needed a great deal of control to feel safe, any experience of deep relaxation may initially feel vulnerable.
The third is a lack of information. When we do not know how something works, the mind fills in the gaps with frightening scenarios.
That is why talking before the first session is so important.
A good initial conversation allows us to clarify questions, understand your pace, explain the process, and assess whether there is enough safety to move forward.
It’s not just a matter of technique.
It is a matter of trust.
How can you feel safer before a session?
You can start by asking questions.
For example:
“What happens during the session?”
“Can I open my eyes?”
“Can I stop if I feel uncomfortable?”
“Do I have to speak during hypnosis?”
“What if I cannot relax?”
“How will I know whether I am in hypnosis?”
“What happens at the end?”
A good professional should be able to answer clearly, without dramatizing the process or promising miracles.
It may also help to begin with simple relaxation, breathing, or guided meditation practices, so that states of light internal focus become more familiar.
But you do not need to know how to “enter hypnosis” before the session.
Being guided is part of the process.
Is hypnotherapy safe?
Hypnotherapy, when conducted by a qualified professional with consent, ethical practice, and respect for the person’s pace, is generally considered safe.
Even so, safety also means recognising limits.
Hypnotherapy does not replace medical, psychological, or psychiatric support when that care is needed.
In situations involving complex trauma, intense crises, significant dissociation, thoughts of self-harm, or severe psychological distress, the work should be approached with particular care and, when necessary, in collaboration with other healthcare professionals.
For me, safe practice is not about promising to resolve everything.
It is about respecting the person’s system.
Frequently asked questions about control in hypnotherapy
Will I lose control during hypnotherapy?
No. During hypnotherapy, you remain conscious, present, and able to respond. You can speak, adjust your position, open your eyes, or stop the session if you need to.
Can hypnotherapy make me do something against my will?
No. Hypnotherapy cannot make you act against your values, wishes, or boundaries. Therapeutic suggestions work as internal invitations, not commands.
Will I fall asleep during hypnosis?
Not necessarily. Some people become deeply relaxed, but that is not the same as being asleep. Most people remain able to hear and remember the session.
What if I cannot relax?
That is not a problem. Hypnotherapy does not require you to perform. If a part of you feels alert or distrustful, that can also be included in the process. We do not need to fight the resistance. We can listen to it.
Can I come out of hypnosis whenever I want?
Yes. You can open your eyes, move your body, speak, or bring your attention back to the space around you. You are not trapped in the hypnotic state.
Can everyone be hypnotised?
Most people can enter some level of hypnotic focus, but the experience varies. Some people move quickly into deeper states. Others begin with lighter states. Lighter states can also be therapeutically useful
Is hypnotherapy like it is in films?
No. Clinical or therapeutic hypnotherapy is very different from stage hypnosis or dramatic portrayals in films. The focus is not control, performance, or obedience. The focus is safety, collaboration, and internal change.
Do I have to share intimate details during the session?
NYou do not have to share anything you do not want to. The process respects your pace. Some sessions work more with sensations, images, metaphors, or internal responses than with a detailed narrative.
At its core, hypnotherapy does not take away your control.
It helps you create a different relationship with what, inside you, may already have felt out of your control.
Anxiety.
Tension.
Repeated patterns.
Self-pressure.
The fear of stopping.
The need to please.
The feeling of always being on alert.
And perhaps this is a more honest way of looking at it:
Hypnotherapy is not about losing your power.
It is about recovering your presence.
It is not about erasing your will.
It is about creating space to listen to the parts of you that may have been too busy surviving.
And when the body begins to feel safe, the mind no longer needs to control everything in the same way.
Would you like to find out whether hypnotherapy feels right for you?
If you are curious but still feel some apprehension, we can begin exactly there.
At Imagine Heal, I work with transpersonal hypnotherapy, nervous system regulation, and subconscious patterns to support people who function well on the outside but feel overwhelmed internally.
Sessions are available online and in person in Cascais.
You can book an initial conversation here:
After booking, please confirm the appointment email to make sure everything is set.
About the author
Nicole Farinha is a certified Transpersonal Hypnotherapist and the founder of Imagine Heal. She works with people experiencing stress, anxiety, overwhelm, emotional blocks, self-pressure, and recurring internal patterns.
Her approach integrates hypnotherapy, the body, the nervous system, the subconscious, and in-depth therapeutic work, always with safety, ethics, and respect for each person’s pace.
